Stories from Central
by bloody raptor
Summary: This is a REALLY screwed up set of mini stories that my brother and I cooked up. We own nothing with the ecption of a few OCs. Enjoy! definantly a crack fic. I do not own FMA in any way shape or form only the odd ideas in this plot.
1. Chapter 1

**My brother really had fun sharing his disturbing mental world and after seeing it I have decided to share it with you. ****Warning****: May cause insanity.**

Roy Mustang known by the locals as Sparky began his morning looking into a toast related accident in which Al unwisely transferred some of his soul into a toaster; and making it jump around the kitchen while firing pieces of burnt toast into the eyes of innocent passersby. "I bet Ed put him up to this." Roy said to himself, and with a sigh went around in search of Ed and Al with the hopes that they could fix this problem before Riza Hawkeye found out and made him deal with it. The first place he looked was the dungeon. Where he found Armstrong with his shirt off and flexing his manly muscles in front of a huddled mass of whimpering, quivering, convicts. Glad he wasn't the one behind bars Roy tiptoed by and continued further down the dungeon where he found his friend, Maes Hughes showing pictures of his daughter to another group of terrified looking prisoners. As he passed the chamber he overheard Hughes saying excitedly "And here is the Halloween edition doesn't Elysia make a cute alien!" Backing away slowly Roy decided to return to his office where he found, to his udder horror, Riza with a huge stack of paper work for him. After placing the papers on his desk she bid him good morning and left; after making sure she was gone he began attempting to burn the documents, but alas they seemed to be made of a fire resistant material. Sighing, Roy took up the a pen and began to sign the papers.


	2. Chapter 2:

Chapter 2: The Garden of Exploding Pansies

Behind headquarters lies a magical garden populated by the ever cunning ninja cows. This was where Ed and Al had gone to escape the wrath of Sparky. Now Ed however had begun to regret this decision as Wrath had decided to appear every so often carrying a hammer which he would then use to bopping Ed on the head while he chased him about the garden calling him short. Some of the other strange encounters they hoped never to see again included witnessing Greed in chibi form wearing a pink frilly laced tutu and dancing the nutcrackers ballet, Sloth attempting to extract maple syrup from the pansies, a feat that was proving to be unsuccessful as the flowers kept exploding violently in her face, and Gluttony who for some reason seemed to have developed a strange obsession with poking his bellybutton.

**Wow and to think my brother can come up with all this!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Lord of the Idiots **

**HELLO BROTHER HERE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D**

While Sparky was looking out of the window for a nonwork related activity, Envy leapt out of the garden and, screaming "I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!", rammed straight into Sparky's window. SLAM!! SLAM!! SLAM!! SLAM!! After two minuets of Envy head butting the widow, Sparky said _(for the tenth time that day)_ PINEAPPLE HEAD STOP THAT NOW!!! Suddenly Gluttony farted in the garden of exploding pansies. BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _(Oh snap)_ Udder chaos in shored. Greed was break dancing on Ed, the ninja cows were jumping on Gluttony, Sloth was eating a wall for Wrath was in the wall hiding, and the most evil thing THE FEARED NINJA CATS WITH L A Z E R S. Then one of the hissed "YOU WILL DIE!!!! Then Al tackled all 1000 of them. Then the loud speaker cam on.

_What will happen next???_


	4. Panty Raid

**Chapter 4: TOUCH THE PAPER WORK AND DIE and the panty raid **

**HELLO BROTHER HERE (again) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D**

"Attention all fun of the worst time loving …um…PEOPLE…Things" said Pride, "as you may have guessed by reading the chapter title, we will beholding a MANDATORY Panty raid to improve moral at Central." "Oh no not again." Said Ed. "I REALLY HATE MORAL AND TOASTS AND THINGS AND SHRIMPS LIKE EEEEEEDDDDD!!!!"

"ENVY IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!" Suddenly one of the ninja kittens cried "THIS IS WAR!" and proceeded to pull out a bazooka and blasted Al into Sparky's office, knocking over ALL of the 25 pounds of paper work.

Hawkeye burst in, sensing paper work trouble, took out an AK-47 and proceeded to shoot at Al who than called upon his legions of kittens to destroy Hawkeye. RATATATATATATATTATATTATATATATTATATATTATATAT!!!!!!! BLAAAAAAAA!!!! THIS IS KITTENSSSSSS!!!!!! After the dust cleared, Sparky was glimpsing in pain and holding his groin, Al was laughing at a picture of some mushroom eating a toaster, and Hawkeye was singing with the kittens "You are my sunshine, my evil sunshine. You blew up my home when I was away. " Then the loud speaker said, "Everyone the raid will begin in two hours. Also has anyone seen my barrels of evil ninja Kittens with Laser eyes? That is all."


End file.
